Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
