Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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