is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
