Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
my vag is so smooth its legendary
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
