she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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