I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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