I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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