it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
