i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
And my parents said I crawled through the house
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
