Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
