I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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