My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
