Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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