i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
