walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
