Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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