I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
