do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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