So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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