The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
