Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Terrible idea I love it
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
