i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I don't want my vagina anymore.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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