I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
