Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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