did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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