Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
