You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
