its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Sext me about skeletons
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
