did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
