Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
