I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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