The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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