i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
