sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
tell your sister to shave her snatch
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Randomize
