Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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