Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
