She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
