Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
