Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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