i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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