Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize