Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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