How's work?
Spinning.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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