the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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