so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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