Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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