I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
