Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
