Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
