home. puking in laundry basket.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
