not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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