yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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