My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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